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Welcome!

Just a quick note to let you know I've moved my blog to the following address:

http://www.michellebentham.org


Please visit me at REDEEMED...RESTORED...RELEASED: One Woman's Story of Living Free to read more about what God is doing in my life and how He is working those things to set me free. Thanks so much for following, visiting, reading all about it and supporting me as you have done so many times these last few years. If you follow my other blogs, the posts from all three of my blogs are going to be transferred to the new digs for one big blog about our journey to restoration and freedom in Christ.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

This blog is moving ... Read All About IT.

This is the header from my Wordpress Digs... "The Because I Love You" blog ended up being the place where I would cut my teeth writing and meet all sorts of friends near and far away.

I've been in a season of change the days. A season that has led me to this moment when I write about merging and moving my blog(s) [All Three Of Them] from Blogger to Wordpress.

Bittersweet? Nah... I find the Wordpress tools more versatile and admit I still have much to learn. I'm excited to be transitioning. It is a bit like physically moving. Cleaning out my closet--so to speak-- IMAGINE. After all this time I'm moving forward.

So, in the future if you would like to find me, please log onto www.michellebentham.org. I will be removing my posts after I get everything up and running in my new digs!

Join me there and lets continue this journey together! The new blog has a new title - all the old titles can be found there, but the difference is... :) ... The new title represents this new season of my life: "Redeemed... Restored... Released | One Woman's Story of Living Free"

Love you all and thanks for following along... You know I do!

For those who are new to my writing--First, Welcome! Hang in there and keep checking back I am "cleaning out the closets of my blogs..." The best is yet to come!


Thursday, May 13, 2010



An Unexpected Gift

Just before Justin’s accident in 2005 I received an belated birthday gift from my cousin. Sherry is my older cousin by 10 years. She spent her teenage years babysitting us and taking care of us. As the years have passed, she and I have grown close. We lived in the same town, and she is “Cousin-Aunt Sherry” to my kids. She and her husband are a large part of the reason why we ended up at Gateway Church.

She was not only my cousin during this season of my life, but also my hair stylist, confidante, friend, and mentor. I would visit her once every few weeks to get a color and hair cut update. It was on just one of these occasions in the summer of 2005 that she presented my gift to me. A beautiful teacup atop a saucer wrapped in cellophane and tied with a golden cord.

She said, “I have something for you. It’s really for your birthday, but I had not heard from God until just the other day what to give you. You may actually know what it means, but anyway … Here you go.”

She handed me the bag. The teacup left me with a puzzled look on my face.

She said, “I heard this song at church the other day called ‘I’m Drinking From My Saucer’. Do you know it?”

I had never heard the slow, sweet country/gospel song before the teacup. She went on to explain that when she saw the cup she knew it was for me because God wanted me to always sip from my saucer rather than drink from the cup. I remember how new that sounded to me at the time. She said, “If you always remember to sip from the saucer then you will never drink your cup dry.”

From our conversation I began to understand she was talking about living my life out of the overflow of God’s grace in my life. She painted a picture for me of how our cup is like our heart or spirit – the place the Holy Spirit comes and fills inside of us. Without the Spirit in my cup, I’m operating out of my own strength, my own desires, my own passions and my own capabilities. It sent me headlong into God’s Word seeking to understand what this word – OVERFLOW - meant from God’s perspective. I wanted to always sip from my saucer.

An Unexpected Discovery

As I began to search out the meaning of this word I sat for hours in my recliner while my husband was at work and my children in school. I savored Scripture and read the margin notes. I learned how to do a chain reference study and in the process began to learn what God’s voice sounded like when He was speaking to me. On those long days I would cart out my commentaries, dictionaries and my Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance. I would search, scribble, pray and contemplate. God would simply sit beside me and say – “Look there. Oh, and did you see that?”

Can I also just say a word about that Exhaustive Concordance? It is where I cut my teeth working out the issues of my life in God’s Word. But, to any other word study junkies out there I’m wondering if I can get a witness as I honestly confess my belief regarding that Strong’s book being EXHAUSTIVE because it just about wears me out taking it off the shelf. Seriously, when the babies come over for a visit I pull it out as a booster seat. I’ve digressed.

Back to the unexpected discovery. As I read Scripture after Scripture and looked up the meanings of the words abundance and overflow in the Hebrew and Greek I discovered that one word was floating around common between the two languages: SUPER ABUNDANCE.

Would it be to base for me to admit at this point that my idea of abundance at that stage in my life was all about material possession and finances?

I remember sitting in the warm glow of afternoon sun streaming through the sheer curtains covering our living room windows and speaking out loud. “Father God, You are going to have to show me what that looks like because I have no file for that. No file at all. I cannot even imagine a place of abundance much less a place where super abundance might exist.”

A Life Defining Response

My heart heard the words as clearly as if Jesus, Himself, had stepped into my living room and addressed my question live and in person. “SUPER ABUNDANCE is not about how much you have, but instead it is about living in the place where everything I provide for you is enough.”

I became resolute that day. I confessed to God, “I want to live in that place.”

Final Thoughts

Fast forward to 2008 when I began to mark out the pages of Scripture searching out the Hebrew Names used to identify YHWH. I was studying the story of Abraham and Isaac at Mt. Moriah when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac and at the last minute spared the child by providing a lamb. That day Abraham identified God as Jehovah Jireh. A name commonly translated “the Lord will provide.” This particular day of study I pulled out a “backwards” copy of the Torah with rabbinical commentary. In the notations I found this statement. “For the Jew the phrase, ‘On the mountain of the L–d it will be provided’ means not only that G-d will make provision, but instead that He, Himself, is the provision that sustains their every need.”

This so resonated with what God had taught me three years earlier on the fringe of the most tragic and difficult season of my entire life. During those months following the discovery of SUPER ABUNDANCE I found myself devastated and unable to pick up my Bible to read anything new. But, faithful as He is, God became my provision. He would bring to my mind promises, Scriptures and truths that I had stored away in my heart along the way. He showed me where the blessings that defy loss and tragedy hide and how to worship in spite of my pain. He taught me how to love unabated by my circumstances simply because He is and I am His. And for me, on any given day of the week, that is enough.

What are these words stirring in you this evening? Does the Lord have something He wants to show you about that Full Life He has promised you that you may have never considered before? Let me hear what He is saying to you at this moment.


Monday, April 26, 2010

Challenges of Community

I shared this on the Rendevous Blog at my friend, Colleen's Place. I thought it might be worth a repost here! Blessings. (I left the typos to exemplify my point... Weakness! :))
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I don’t know if this will resonate with anyone else, or if it is just something I need to express. I hope it will resonate at some level.

In 1997 I was a divorced mother of three, jobless, living with my parents. I was also discovering the internet for the first time along my love of written word anew.

I set out to start a “writing career” by pecking out word after word on an internet Writers BBS where I could post my rough copy for others to review. I opened the first comment to one of my writing pieces and felt shell shocked. The words were scathing, critical and harsh. They hurt.

I was not only offended, but also crying. I had put my soul out there and someone – some anonymous someone – had hacked it to pieces. I jumped on and, in comment, justified, explained and rationalized my lack of expertise. The response I got set me in my place. “Toughen up. Learn from the experience or stop posting.” OUCH.

I stuck with this process. I hacked out words daily and well into the nights. I wrote poetry, prose and settled into a genre of “Flash Fiction.”

For those who do not know, Flash Fiction is a snapshot of a story told in 500 words or less. I posted the rough copy, read critiques and adjusted accordingly.

In the meantime I bought books on writing. One particular book was a compilation of essays on writing by secular publishes authors. I read them with relish. I wanted to know what it took to be a successful writer. Mind you, at that time in my life I was not asking God. I was barely aware He was with me everyday. Quite frankly I lived as one only escaping flames.

Stephen King wrote in his essay that he fell into writing in lieu of punishment for misbehavior at school. His school principal assigned writing high school sports columns as his punishment for misbehavior. His columns eventually were picked up by the local newspaper and he was paid 1/2 cent per word for each column.

A few months after posting a 486 word piece on the BBS I received an email from the BBS owner offering to publish this short, short story titled, “Dear John.” He offered to pay me $5.00 for permission to “publish” my story on his e-zine. Today, e-zines are commonplace. Back then – they were not. The name of the internet magazine was Fish Eggs for the Soul. I sent my agreement and a few days later cashed a check for $5.00. I had arrived. I was now a paid-for-publication writer. I had even earned more per word for my first paid gig than Stephen King. (Can you see the smug grin on my face?)

My writing career has grossed $5.00 to date. I still write, but I don’t know if my end goal is publication, wealth and fame any longer. Those things would be nice, but not nearly as beneficial as the life that might be changed by reading how God has worked in my life. You see what I know now is how He has taken the weakest moments of my depraved existence and turned them for my good and His glory.

I am grateful for those months in 1997 when I posted my heart out writing about the nonsense ideals of a hopeless romantic longing to be loved. It toughened my skin to the criticism and helped me to see that the risk and reward often are measured by the end result in my life – not the paycheck or payoff that may or may not be fleeting.

I’m not afraid to put my opinion out there for the world to read. I’m no longer offended when others don’t see eye-to-eye with my perspective. I’m even less bothered whether they point out the weaker qualities of my skill at spelling or writing. Here is the thing that matters – Christ glorified. I want to demonstrate His love and excellence and work hard to do so. But, sometimes the best place it is displayed is in my weakness.

When I read about the “right to be right” here this morning I recalled the challenges of community I’ve experienced in my life. Sometimes the freedom to speak or write publicly also comes with the freedom of others to object, disagree and even criticize our perspective and experiences. My clever thought might just hit a nerve that triggers a negative response in others. I post it innocently, and then the backlash begins.

I have participated both in blog communities, Christian forums, writer’s forums and message boards as well as a live and in-person writer’s critique group with a published author. I’ve learned that if my goal in writing is to express my opinion and find others who agree – I’m likely to be disappointed. However, if my goal is to share what I’m learning in my journey with God. Sometimes, it resonates and becomes like iron that sharpens iron. While at other times the words I write may be sweet honey to a friend’s soul. In the end, the result is the same: It helps us both grow.

I’m grateful for opportunities to share and even find people who disagree with me. It forces me to open my mind and my heart to the things I really believe, the things I stand for and well, whether or not I need to adjust my vision.

When doing a study on the fruit of the Spirit some years ago I realized God often brings people into our lives that rub us the wrong way to help hewn the attributes of kindness in our lives. Like sandpaper, these experiences can either take off the rough edges and produce a more refined person, or it can create a wound that will no doubt take time to heal and may produce wounds in others. I have to choose how it will be received.